Amber Alert: Holiday called "Thanksgiving" has been reported "Missing." Last seen somewhere between "Halloween" and "Christmas," typically on the 4th Thursday of November.
Distinguishing features: often surrounded by gobbling turkeys; last seen wearing shades of red and gold; emits strong "pumpkin spice" scent.
"Thanksgiving" is often associated with lots of food. Local grocery stores have been put on high alert and are required to call in anything suspicious.
If you have any information regarding the wear-abouts of "Thanksgiving," or are just plain sick that "Christmas" seems to come earlier and earlier each year, you are encouraged to call local law enforcement. Or protest Hallmark. Whichever you prefer.
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